THE WORLD IN CHAOS

What a weird time, eh?

It's hard to know what to even say about it all to be honest.

I've been holding up pretty well I think. I saw Jon Ronson’s tweet asking if people who usually experience high levels of anxiety have actually been coping quite well:

And I have to say, I fit into that category. Possibly because a lot of my anxiety is around social interaction, or maybe because I usually spend a lot of time at home anyway, but I feel like my mental health has actually been okay, in fact it's been better than it has been in the last 6 months. I've actually managed to be very productive. I'm really trying to use this time to reflect and tackle projects I've been putting off (I plan to write a post discussing what I've been doing to fill my time). That said, I've definitely had rough days where I really struggle to be productive in any way. I think we just have to accept those days as part of this whole experience.

I keep having these moments where it all feels so surreal. Going to do grocery shopping and having to queue outside 2 metres away from anybody, seeing people wearing masks, having plexiglass suddenly pop up everywhere... I couldn't have even conceived any of it in my mind 2 months ago. Despite the fact that I've watched multiple documentaries warning that we had a pandemic coming, the reality is so far from anything I've ever experienced. We get warned about terrible things happening to the earth and around the world all the time, but living the very sheltered middle-class Irish life that I do, none of it has ever had such an impact on my day to day. It's the first time I've experienced a global trauma, it's the first time for a lot of us I'd imagine.

I think the frustrating part is not knowing when this is going to end. I just can't see how we'll get back to normal anytime soon, but I'm also trying to stay positive. It doesn't help to dwell. I'm trying to take things as they come, week by week, day by day. I was planning on making some big changes this year, and unfortunately I think some of the things I was planning won't be able to go ahead. But that doesn't mean that I have to feel stagnant. There's always going to be reasons to take a leap into the unknown. Now, a global pandemic is probably a legitimate excuse to not make any big life changes, but I'm ready for change. I'm trying to trust my intuition and that is telling me there's no time like the present.

I don't know what's going to happen but I know I need to move into the next phase in my life and try some new things, even if that means just spending a lot of time working on myself and things I'm passionate about until the world calms down a bit. I'm going to try and get into blogging and being creative because I think that's something that's been missing from my daily life for a while and I miss it. Hopefully I can use the extra time I have now to be better about posting regularly and get myself into a routine with it.

I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe x